Pata nahin chalta. Translation: You don't get to know. It's happening, it's ongoing, it's there, but you don't see it – or let's say you don't want to. Control and Manipulation often come wrapped in Love, care, the offer of protection, and safety, along with the infamous words, “tumhare hi bhale ki liye toh hai”. Now, the ball's in your court. Keep a keen eye out for Red Flags, and I tell you – there are many. Create your own list of NNs – Non-negotiables – and stick with them. Even if you're head over heels for the other person! Because that same person has the potential to hurt you, a lot, in various big and small ways.
It is way easier to spot if it's direct – like a physical attack, a shove, a push, a slap… No doubt there. But it can also be incredibly subtle, like "Rohan hates it if I go out with my guy friends" – even Rohan is surprised, but she sure has painted a picture of Rohan for you. And suppose Rohan says – “No baby, when did I stop you?” “Oh ‘O!!” You want me to get attacked on the streets, don’t you?” One girl said to me, “I called him 103 times, and it was only when I was at his office that he took my 104th call. How callous can he be?” Alternately, “My baby is a sexy slut – look at her butt on the dance floor.” Eh? What? Or, "Baby, don't let anyone see how sexy you are – I mean, it makes your gal pals so jealous of you.” You suddenly become the recipient and the cause of the abuse. Call Out this kind of behaviour. Tolerate it no more! It's time to hit Delete!