A tiny tot paid a visit today – Hey bhagawan! And I had to resort to an extra-strong chai after the little toofan left! Before its arrival, I was in the kitchen, doing the whole tadka, cleaning, grating, washing, boiling – double boiling. When it was around, I was darting, rushing, gushing, pushing, hushing, and flushing. When it left – I was cuddling – not myself or my beloved but my little kitten who was TRAUMATISED by the tiny devil. And all this when I had the time to prepare myself beforehand.
I even know the kid from before, from how its Mum describes it, it was even born before my own eyes – and trust me, it's NOTHING like it, not at all!!
Hey Bhagawan, Got me thinking!! All this for just one day – and I am reaching for the chai. And there is a young couple who are cleaning diapers, 3 times a day – 2 times at night – for at least 12 more months to come.
NEWSFLASH!! Babies are no child’s play!! Absolutely and strictly for Adults ONLY, that proposition. So if you are getting any nudge, any push from anyone – including if you are doing it to yourself – playing up to some deep-seated stereotype, QUIT IT NOW. Grow up. Get very Adult – before you get anywhere near getting pregnant – Both of you!! PLAN!! Soch samajh ke karo - Your life, your retirement, your money, your ghar and space (kids are very mobile and very tough – this one pushed all my grandfather's furniture by just laying on the floor), your finances, your job, support systems, rituals of your families and their neighbours – sab kuchh sort kar lo!
Also, plan the next time you will have sex – (24 months ahead – not because you can’t – but because you won’t be able to). Make very GOOD yaari with your neighbors, keep your house help handy and happy, ensure all the equipment in the house works and…did I say finance already? Yup – needed on an everyday basis.
Turn the page – more instructions follow – once you give a tick off on ALL, yes ALL, then and only then, search up that Ovulation Calendar. Till then, reach out for that Condom, read up on all acts non- penetrative, and keep a Plan B ready – all the time! That’s such a Contraceptive Technology Pun!! Hope you got it – NO? Just failed the “Ready to get baby Test,” baby! Better luck next time.